I did not watched Blind Side instead,
Desert Flower. An autobiography by Waris Dirie remade into a film by Academy Award winner producer- Peter Herrmann.
What is the film about?
- At age 3, Waris and all African females alike were circumsized.
- At age 14, Waris was forced to marry to a man so old he can be her grandfather.
- She planned her escape through the desert on straw slippers and a thin piece of shawl.
- The rest of the novel talks about how she overcame her odds and became a supermodel.
The main focus of her book/movie was about: Female genital mutilation
When I first read the novel a few years back, I was shocked and disgusted by the practice and the mentality of humans that female were unclean creatures and something has to be done to get rid of this evil.
Mutilation aside first, even in our modern lives we faced comments like, a woman menstruation is unclean, do not walk under or wash your clothes together with female's inner wear, buying sanitary pad for women is unlucky etc....
So many unwarranted superstitions yet there is one mind-boggling question:
'' Where did you come from?''
Inside the womb for 9 months feeding on blood (yes, of a woman) and expanding so huge that you weigh more than a basketball.
And finally, you decided you've had enough of blood sucking and wanted to escape.
Through where?
You, of all places, found the narrowest place to escape. So narrow that doctors have to cut up the opening and mothers have to push and scream like mad to expel you out. In unfortunate incidents, they might end up with massive blood loss and even unconsciousness.
You grew and realised one fine day that '' wow! I'm different! I've an external organ''
An organ that defines you male, an organ that gives you the pride akin to the lion.
An organ that your mother gave you.
It is saddening to think that female discrimination still occurs even in this modern era. There are dress code, behaviour code, family code ....The list is longer than my journal.
For example:
In the Middle East, women must cover from head-to-toe sometimes using a veil to cover their eyes even during the hot summer. Women are not to step out of houses without husband. Women should not talk to stranger men. Marriages for women is to be arranged by family.....
The extreme my occur in such traditional countries but advanced countries such as Korea, Japan has their fair share too.
Woman is responsible for the household (I think this is the international code), women had to serve their husband because the oh-so-dear husband is so tired after work and he is the breadwinner! He takes home the bread and sits on the sofa strewing his socks and stuffs all over the place, while you sweetly takes the bread, knead it, baked it, check recipes for different dishes else, he'll finds you a bore, clean up all his mess, and the to-do list goes on.... Not to mention if you'll be working the next day too. Do not complain unless you want to hear ''So tiring ar, then don't work. I can support you.'' Or some MILs will comment '' You asked for it ( translated to Hokkien, Chinese/other dialects). Its not as if the household needs you to work''.
Work is always an option for women.
In company settings, its always the women serving water, serving wine (soju in the case of korea) , acting like a maid literally. Women have to ENDURE unreasonable mother-in-law because she is old and you married her son. In Japan, women are held lower post in companies, helps husband to take off socks, put on slippers when he reached home (ok, this might be normal to some, but to me: ridiculous) Crippled or what?
Every good/marriagable woman should be able to cook and sew, be sweet and gentle and endurance power 101%. To add a bonus, you can be brainy and work but NEVER earn more than your husband or try to be SMARTER than him.
Being a woman is tough, even tougher if you're born in education-limited and traditional countries. To inflict a lifetime torment to a woman because you deemed that she is unclean the day she is born is sad.
Genital mutilation occurs in every part of the world. Every minute you spent toddling with your iPod, surfing facebook, watching movies, 6000 female toddlers are being mutilated.
In poverty-stricken countries, there are no doctors. Only village witch-doctors whom the non-educated trusted with their life. If there is a caste system for sex, female will be at the bottom. They listened to their husbands and could not/ dare not argue against their ideas else the whole family consisting of 10 people would starve. ( They have no contraception.)
The mother holds her toddler tight in her embrace and pries open her legs awaiting the rusty scissors and blades to pierce through the vulnerable genital organs. The 'doctor' then performs her familar acts. Slice up the external skin to remove the clitoris and then, sew up the entire vaginal leaving a hole as small as a matchstick ( adapted from Waris Dirie's novel). Removed parts were eyed eagerly by circling hawks and eagles.
Most of them die.
Those who lived, led a life of physical and mental torture. Can you imagine excreting your liquid waste through a tiny hole? Can you imagine the constant burning pain and scar that you'll see forever as long as you live?
Can you imagine having intercourse when you're married?
Yes, the second nightmare comes when they're arranged to be married off to a man, usually few decades older but rich. Rich in the sense that they have a few more pathetic cows/sheeps/ camels that will be able to sustain the entire family for a few more months.
Is that why they have so many children? So they can sell them off if they need the necessities in life?
On the fateful night, the husband will use a knife/scissors/ anything sharp ( well, who knows if guys can think straight when their testosterone level is mountain high?) to cut open the once-sewed up wound and force himself inside disregarding the immense pain, bleeding and infection that ensues. After his hormones are satisfied, this poor little girl (usually they are underaged between 10-15) is left to recover on her own. Unrecoverable, they are left to bleed to death in a deserted hut so as not to bring evil and bad luck to the husband.
Should they get pregnant, in this case, I would say the pregnancy is unlucky. The not-even-puberty girl is left alone in the hut to bring the unborn to earth-alone. MIL/ villagers will claim the baby and leave the life and death of the mother to the wind....
So much pain for just one belief: Women's reproductive organ is deemed evil and should she not be sewed up, she is unclean and will be oust from her village.
Who should we blame? The poverty? The lack of education? Or the sex discrimination that is embedded in us since Adam and Eve?
Such extremities do not occur to us in our countries but we've read enough of home abuse, extra-marital affairs, cheats.... Women dare not speak up be it for the sake of her children or the constant fear and reliance on the male.
I cannot put myself entirely in their shoes, maybe...maybe if it happens to me one day, I might be able to understand the reason behind such endurance....Love they call it.
Love is a weapon yet a shield...
I'm lucky not to be born in the olden era else, I wish I'd been Wu Ze Tian.
'' I can live with nobody but, I just do not wish to lead a life without somebody....''
